(Artwork by Kelly Watts 2011)
It's days like today (Valentine's Day) that my depression rears it's ugly head. What I want and what I can do become two separate entities and I battle between them inside my head.
This week has been rather a tough one... I fell down the last four stairs of our stairwell last Saturday and hurt my knee, hips etc. So I was in a great deal of pain. My lovely monthly visitor was visiting all this week, which brings it's own kind of pain. And my oldest was home from school with a viral chest infection.
Then we add the normal everyday pain of Fibromyalgia and Joints...
So, here comes Valentine's Day and I am hurting. I look on instagram and facebook and see all these couples celebrating the lovely "Love" day and I am stuck in bed feeling all mushy lovey... I told my Hubby we could celebrate next week when I am feeling better... but I am depressed that I cannot celebrate it today.
One difficult thing of having a Chronic Illness is that it is hard to make plans. Everything has to be dependent upon how I am feeling every day. I hate living like that, but that's just the way it is.
So I need to swing things around to a positive note and see Jesus through my depression today.
Jesus, you have blessed me with the most wonderful man to be my Husband. He loves me, he cares about me, he takes care of me and he see's me through your eyes. He looks past my illness and see's me, the woman you made me to be. He doesn't care if we celebrate Valentine's Day today, tomorrow or next week, or even if we can't celebrate it... He loves me when I'm sad, when I'm hurting, when I am crying or I am laughing and I do not give him enough credit for doing that!
So Jesus, I just want to thank you for sending me my Husband who loves me no matter what!
And thank you Jesus that YOU love me no matter what!
I love you Jesus.
Many hugs and blessings to all of you out there today, whether you are single or not please know that you are deeply loved by the Father, the King of Kings and He see's you as a precious child. You ARE LOVED.
Happy Valentine's Day!