(Artwork by Kelly Watts 2011)
It's days like today (Valentine's Day) that my depression rears it's ugly head. What I want and what I can do become two separate entities and I battle between them inside my head.
This week has been rather a tough one... I fell down the last four stairs of our stairwell last Saturday and hurt my knee, hips etc. So I was in a great deal of pain. My lovely monthly visitor was visiting all this week, which brings it's own kind of pain. And my oldest was home from school with a viral chest infection.
Then we add the normal everyday pain of Fibromyalgia and Joints...
So, here comes Valentine's Day and I am hurting. I look on instagram and facebook and see all these couples celebrating the lovely "Love" day and I am stuck in bed feeling all mushy lovey... I told my Hubby we could celebrate next week when I am feeling better... but I am depressed that I cannot celebrate it today.
One difficult thing of having a Chronic Illness is that it is hard to make plans. Everything has to be dependent upon how I am feeling every day. I hate living like that, but that's just the way it is.
So I need to swing things around to a positive note and see Jesus through my depression today.
Jesus, you have blessed me with the most wonderful man to be my Husband. He loves me, he cares about me, he takes care of me and he see's me through your eyes. He looks past my illness and see's me, the woman you made me to be. He doesn't care if we celebrate Valentine's Day today, tomorrow or next week, or even if we can't celebrate it... He loves me when I'm sad, when I'm hurting, when I am crying or I am laughing and I do not give him enough credit for doing that!
So Jesus, I just want to thank you for sending me my Husband who loves me no matter what!
And thank you Jesus that YOU love me no matter what!
I love you Jesus.
Many hugs and blessings to all of you out there today, whether you are single or not please know that you are deeply loved by the Father, the King of Kings and He see's you as a precious child. You ARE LOVED.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Kelly Watts
I know how hard it can be when you have to see how you'll be feeling before you can go ahead and do something - you can't make plans in advance.
ReplyDeleteI've had a rough week too - hubby working away, monthly visitor also (!!) first week without our beautiful cat after he tragically died last weekend...and the usual pain.
What has kept me going has been "meeting" you and reading your blogs. Hope that doesn't sound too dramatic but believe me, you have no idea how much you have helped me this week.
Praise God for his everlasting love and mercy.
p.s. We don't celebrate Valentine's Day here in Oz to the same extent. It's such a marketing ripoff!! xx
p.s. Did you get my email? Hope I sent it to the correct address!
ReplyDeleteHi Aussiemaven;
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry your week was a bad one too, and that your cat died tragically. How sad.
I am so glad you have found comfort in reading my blogs, that is the reason I blog. God is good and He definitely has everlasting love and mercy, that we are able to find that through all this pain is a miracle in itself, thank YOU GOD!.
We do not usually do a "Big" thing for Valentines day, we just usually love each other and go out every now and again. But, we make sure to love one another ever single day and tell each other that numerous times per day:)
I am not sure if I received your email, i got one from an Elizabeth but I do not know your first name.
Many hugs and blessings to you.
Kelly
Sweet Kelly, much love to you! I postponed our valentine's celebration as well and am so blessed to have a loving, flexible husband who honours my ever changing pain and energy levels!
ReplyDelete