Saturday, February 9, 2013

Roller Coaster of Moods

(Art work by Kelly Watts 2013)

Isn't being a woman fabulous???  I cannot say that every day, especially when my 'Monthly Visitor' overstays her welcome!  (Not that I ever 'welcome' her)

I have discovered that having pain 24/7 messes with my moods and irritability, when my skin is so sensitive that even my clothes hurt me... yes, I become this irritible monster.  I do not mean to.  Sometimes the pain of FM and joint issues creep up on me and I do not even realize that I am over my pain thresh hold of what I can stand... then it really, really gets to me.  At that point not much can help me with the pain but laying in bed and being very still.  My moods are not very nice when this happens but I try really hard to keep them to myself.

This is when I say in my head, "Be still and know that He is God".  I usually say that over and over again until He calms me down. 

Another verse that tends to really work for me is 'The Shepherds Prayer - Psalm 23'. 

The Lord is my Shepherd
I shall not want
He makes me to lay down in green pastures
He leads me beside still waters
He restores my soul.
He leads me on the path of righteousness
for His namesake.
 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil
for You are with me.
Your rod and your staff
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies
You anoint my head with oil
my cup overflows.
Surely good and love
will follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the house of
the Lord forever.
If I say Psalm 23 slowly in my head and think about each and every word, by the time I am finished this Psalm the Lord has blessed me with His peace and comfort. 
Mood swings are very common for me.  I have dealt with them since I hit puberty (which most girls do)... but I have always been an individual who dealt with stress and trauma by locking my emotions inside my head instead of dealing with them head-on.  This means I am usually a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.  I'm working on it with the Lord's help.
In 1997 I blew the lid off when I had post-partum depression with my second born son.  Depression is (Hell on Earth) or at least it feels like it.  It is as though your emotional self is trapped inside of your body and someone else takes over (invasion of the body snatchers).  Some days you are sad and lonely, some days you are manic and rushed full of adrenaline, other days your moods are all over the place that you can't even keep track of them. 
Anxiety is a mood in itself.  I remember feeling it physically as adrenaline coursed through my body and made it so that my hands and legs could not stay still ~ but also my thoughts became paranoid and strange. 
During my Menstrual Cycle I know that I am going to be irritable, I know that I am going to be sad, I know that I am going to be hurting so bad the first few days... so I try to prepare myself for the mood swings that I know will be hitting me in waves.  My family is used to this time of month too... they can tell when it's coming!  I usually stay in my bedroom when it gets really bad.  My poor Husband gets the brunt of my moods as he tries to take care of me - I love him so much.  He is a gift from God that has lifted me up on my darkest days. 
It's ridiculous how many emotions I can experience in one day...
As I said, isn't it fabulous being a woman? 
Many hugs and blessings to you Dear Friends.
Kelly Watts
(Artwork by Kelly Watts 2013)


  1. Hi Kelly,

    Can I grab your email address? Mine is I thought I saw your on here before but maybe I was wrong?

    Oh the monthly visitor. The things we women go through! x

    1. Yes, my pain is so bad during that time of the month! I am bedridden almost a whole week. Sometimes being a woman, well, it's not so great. Hugs and blessings.

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