Thursday, February 21, 2013

Oops, I Did It Again!

(Artwork by Kelly Watts 2012)
Yesterday was a crazy, crazy day!  I had not slept well the night before and then I had to get up early for a Doctors Appointment.
As I was driving with Hubbub downtown to the Chronic Pain Clinic I realized I had forgotten to take my morning medications.
Do you ever do that?  Chances are... you do.
When that happens to me I usually end the day in tears because of the emotional rollercoaster not taking my meds creates.
I am on Effexor, have been for almost 16 years.
I noticed with this medication it really makes a huge difference if I miss a dose.
I have weaned myself down to 37.5mg in the morning and 37.5mg at night.
Even with that small dose, if I miss it I know I am going to break down in the evening... I don't usually realize that I have missed the dose until the tears start flowing and then AHA! it comes to me!
Missing a dose was really only a small part of my day yesterday.
My Doctor's Appointment at the clinic went very well, the Doctor's were really nice, they gave us the information we had requested, let us know our options and went through all the information we needed to know.
The problem was in my expectations.  I always place high expectations on Doctor's appointments figuring I am going to leave the appointment with relief in hand.  Man do I ever set myself up for disappointment!
I do it to myself everytime!  It isn't the Doctor's fault; they are not all out to get me and make my life miserable.  They are just doing their job.  In the end it's our job to make sure we have done our research, have taken care of ourselves to the best of our abilities to help with the disease/illness we have.
I know they are there to help us deal with the symptoms of our illnesses.
I guess I would rather them have a "magic" button to take all the symptoms and the disease away!
The only one with that 'magic' button is God.  I need to lean on Him for my relief.  I need to not forget to breathe.  I need to put things into logical perspective and I need NOT to think 'worst case scenario'!
I have a wonderful friend who helped calm me down last night when all I could think was the worst!  Thanks Rhossana for being there for me!
Yes, this illness is hard, yes, it's painful.  I can do it with God who strengthens me and so can you!
He has a plan for our lives... Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Many hugs and blessings for your day.
Kelly Watts


  1. i am working on giving up expectations as is a daily practice. love to you xoox